i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
