Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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