the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
