great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
