My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
