I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
