I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
