Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i out mim tonsoeep
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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