It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
