i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
