so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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