We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
