I forgot how hot balto sounded
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
