I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
