I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize