yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
