he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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