GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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