Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
