Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
