State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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