Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
