im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
