I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
