Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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