I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
