Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
