If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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