I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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