2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
