Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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