it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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