apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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