hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
