So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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