Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
