What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My cat gives me a boner
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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