We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize