i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
