K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
