Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
