I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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