Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
