Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
