dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
