I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Send help, water and tortillas.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
