I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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