Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
