??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
