I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
