The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Someone came in the potted fern
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
