How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
