At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize