he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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