i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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