omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
