8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
