I think im going to throw up on grandma
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
