U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
