Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
