He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
