physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so let's talk penis.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We had to coat check the pizza.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
