ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
